Here I am back to reality, life on life’s terms with constant battles, day in day out! The first is getting a grip on addiction. I’ve been a drug addict for more than half my life; probably spent over 20 years in and out of jail or remand centres.
I’m 37, I have wasted the best days of my life with my selfish ways, always thinking about poor little me, who actually has got more than most people ever have! I used to think that I was better off in jail, everything done. If you can keep up with routine! What a fool; nearly 40 and just realized how selfish I truly have been, how lucky.
I am so lucky to have a loving, caring family who stood by me and made me feel special no matter how low I’ve got! My early teens were a nightmare, my dad was a real cowboy. I have no good memories of how it was back then. I had a purpose with my kids and I let them down time and time again, selfish ways! The saying; “You don’t realize what you’ve got till it’s gone” is so true.
Well I’ve another chance. I’ve got goals, ambitions, focus and energy; tons of it. If I transfer it, am doing good and not expecting things to fall into place within a month or two or three I should be ok with the grace of God.
I’ve got a C.V where I’d employ myself, but I would say that wouldn’t I? (ha ha) I am doing IT Level 2 right now, then I will get the chance to do C.S.C.S and Waste Management. I get free driving lessons and a provisional so everything to work for, just how lucky am I?
I’ve realized that life will be a lot of hard work, a daily battle in my mind to not fall into old behaviour patterns because with some people or places I might not get another chance. So now am hoping to get off my meds and get used to life with a clear head, dealing with life, enjoying every day and making the most of what I’m so blessed to have.
I’m sorry if I’ve hurt or offended you. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me?!
I’d like to thank the man in charge, Gary who is smashing it! He’s transformed himself into a totally selfless guy. Thanks for the visits and all you’ve done for me and the unfortunates of Bradford and Yorkshire.